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Joke of the Day

"There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going."

"Why is Latvian cross road? Latvian see potato, but when cross is only secret police."

"FARMER: The storm destroyed half our crops TRUMP: Have you thought about taking the existing crops and just sort of combing them over th"

"What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't use a pitchfork to unload bowling balls."

"Where do Neanderthals shop? Cave-mart."

"You're trapped in a room with a tiger a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice."

"Hi my name is Richard. I'm a husband and it's been 3 months since my last decision."

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"

"I usually piss in my shower combo to save on water But I should really stop taking baths they are so wasteful."

"Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said ""I don't know about you but I can smell carrots!"""