104469

Joke of the Day

"i am not jesus Jesus can wallk on water..,, correct? Yess! Well,.. I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So I am 98% Jesus. ;)"

"The best part about stabbing Queen Latifah is watching all the BBQ pulled pork shoot out of her like silly string."

"What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard?"

"Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it"

"Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky ? Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use a whole chicken."

"What did the fruit enthusiast do as he was dying? Prepear for the end."

"Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now."

"Whisper out to librarians!"

"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? ...To get to the same side"