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Joke of the Day

"So anyway, this guy calls a plumber... ""Hey, plumber, I gotta leak in my basement."" Plumber says, ""Go ahead fellow, it's your basement."""

"Who the hell does that in a sock?!? *squishes out of the room*"

"I bought ""extra whitening"" toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English"

"We should just name hurricanes after politicians. That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything."

"You're the apple of my eye. The grape of my elbow. The lemon of my foot. The banana of my hair. My sweet hair banana."

"You know what's funny? My life :("

"Last night I dreamed I was eating a pillow When I woke up, my 10 pound marshmallow was gone."

"Best joke ever Women's rights"

"The difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"I wish I was a helicase enzyme... ...because then I could unzip your genes"