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Joke of the Day

"So anyway, this guy calls a plumber... ""Hey, plumber, I gotta leak in my basement."" Plumber says, ""Go ahead fellow, it's your basement."""

"One of these days, I'm going to go fishing for complements. I hope I catch some peanut butter and jelly."

"Why did the Baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a poo"

"If not at Bed Bath & Beyond, WHERE CAN I BUY A BED BATH?"

"Did you hear about the farmer who did geometry? He was pro - tractor"

"Finally, I win 1st place in something! A guy recently rated me as a solid 1 in the attractiveness scale. I've never won anything in my life!"

"Why can't astronauts eat popsicles? In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck."

"Me: I said no cookies! 4yo: I forgot. Maybe I have amnesia! Me: How'd you get amnesia? 4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played.."

"Post some more song lyrics as your status. Someone will eventually understand your struggle."

"I like my women like I like my eggs. Beaten."